


What's So Special About These?

by flipflop_diva



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Gen, Handcuffed Together, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake probably should have learned by now that opening his mouth only leads to trouble. But he just had to go ahead and open his mouth. And pocket that pair of handcuffs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's So Special About These?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thinlizzy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/gifts).



> thinlizzy2, I love the tags you requested for this! Thank you! I instantly had a scenario jump into my head just from reading them, and so I went with it. I used a lot of the other characters, since you said you love everyone, so I hope you enjoy!

“Okay, who is going to call Holt?” Terry stood with his hands on his hips, looking around at all of them intently. “Because I am definitely calling dibs on _not_ calling him.”

Gina’s hand shot into the air before anyone else could even move. “I would love nothing more than to tell Captain Holt about this glorious turn of events,” she said in that slow, melodic tone of hers.

Jake shook his head for what felt like the one-hundredth time in the past ten minutes. (How had it only been ten minutes? It felt like a lifetime.) 

“Come on, guys,” he pleaded. “No one has to call Holt! That’s just silly!”

“So you’re just going to go to work on Monday morning handcuffed together with Rosa?” Terry stared at him incredulously.

“What?” Jake said. “No! It’s Wednesday! We are not staying handcuffed together for a week.”

“We are most definitely not staying handcuffed together for a week,” Rosa said from beside Jake. “If we’re not uncuffed by nightfall, I’m cutting off his arm to get free.”

Jake stared at her in horror. She stared back at him. If anyone else had said it, he would have laughed, but Rosa …?

“I don’t see any other way out except to call Holt,” Gina said, ignoring Jake and Rosa’s stare-off and focusing on Terry. “Do you Terry?”

“I sure do not!”

“Oh, come on!” Jake said, finally breaking eye contact with Rosa. “Just … I don’t know … someone go get metal cutters! Or here …” He shoved his and Rosa’s attached-together hands in Boyle’s direction. “Try picking the lock again.”

Boyle sighed sadly. “I love you, Jake,” he said, reaching up to pat him on the shoulder. “I do. But I told you not to put on Holt’s special handcuffs when we didn’t have a key.”

“They aren’t _special_!” Jake protested. “They’re just handcuffs!”

“If they were just handcuffs, we could pick the lock,” Boyle said.

“I hate to say this,” Gina cut in, “because I took a vow never to agree with Boyle, but I actually agree with Boyle. If they were indeed not special, we’d have you out of there.”

“Oh, come on!”

“I am not damaging Holt’s special handcuffs,” Boyle said. He crossed his arms and shook his head. “Not even for you, Jake. I just can’t.”

Jake looked at Terry. 

“No way,” Terry said.

Jake turned to Gina.

“I am so ready to call Holt,” she said. “I love to see you in trouble. It delights me.”

“Ughhh,” Jake muttered. His last chance. He turned to Amy, his partner, his friend, his best friend. He smiled at her.

She scowled. “Oh, hell, no,” she said. “You got yourself into this mess all on your own. I fully support Captain Holt in whatever he decides to do!”

“Of course you do,” Jake muttered. “I hate you all.”

“What?” Rosa said, jabbing him with her elbow. “You hate _them_? You’re the one who got us into this mess.”

•••

_“What’s so special about these?”_

Yup. Famous last words. Words to forever regret. Words that will haunt a man forever. All of the above. That’s what those words were. Because of course Jake had said them. Because he could never say no to a challenge.

Who had a special pair of handcuffs anyway?

“What’s so special about these?” he had said that day at work, picking them up off Holt’s desk when he had left the office for a meeting and frowning at them.

“Maybe they give Holt special powers,” Boyle breathed.

“They do not. Don’t be crazy,” Jake said.

“Maybe they were given to him as some sort of great honor in his past,” Gina suggested.

“That is a lame honor then,” Jake muttered.

“Maybe you should not be touching them,” Amy said, looking horrified. “Because they are special to our Captain, and if he catches you …”

“Oh, please. They aren’t special,” Jake said. Because they totally weren’t special. Holt was just trying to pull one over on them, make them think he had something they didn’t. The others just couldn’t see it.

And to prove his point, when no one had been looking, Jake had slipped them into his bag to take them with him on their annual beach trip. And then when no one was looking there, he had slipped them back out and placed them inconspicuously on the kitchen table.

Ten minutes later, Amy — of course it had been Amy — had spotted them first and screamed like she had just seen a ghost. 

Everyone had come running. She was actually pale, pointing at the handcuffs like they could jump up and bite her.

“Where did those come from?” she’d whispered.

Every head in the room shot around to look at Jake. He’d just shrugged.

“They aren’t special!” he’d practically shouted. “They are just regular handcuffs! Look!”

And that’s when he’d done it. He picked them up and locked a loop around his wrist.

“What are you doing?” Amy’d almost shrieked.

“Oh, come _on_ ,” he’d said, and then without thinking again, he’d slipped the other end on to the person standing next to him. On to Rosa.

And now here they were.

•••

“You realize he’s going to murder you, right? You are going to be dead. Dead! Or worse, you’re going to be fired. Oh, my god, what if you’re fired? What if we’re all fired for abetting a criminal? I can’t be fired! What will I do?” Amy dropped her head into her hands. Jake, Rosa and Amy were outside the beach house, sitting on the front stoop. Somewhere inside, Gina was on the phone, regaling Captain Holt with Jake’s latest ridiculous move.

“No,” Jake said miserably. He could barely summon the energy to comfort her. (Actually, why did he even need to comfort her? She wasn’t the one who was about to die.) “You’ll be fine. He’ll only murder and fire me.” He dropped his head to imitate Amy. “Do you think I could convince him it was just an accident?”

“Probably not,” Rosa said from his other side. She didn’t add anything else to that statement.

“Maybe I could convince him I was brainwashed by a truly manipulative villain who made me promise I would steal the handcuffs in exchange for my life?”

“Are you mental?” Rosa said. “No one is ever going to believe that. Particularly Holt. You don’t have anything better?” She shook her head, as if in disappointment. “That’s not even up to normal Jake standards.”

Normal Jake standards? He frowned at that, but before he could question her further about what exactly she meant by that statement, the door behind them opened and Gina, Terry, Scully and Hitchcock came out. They all looked like a jury coming back with a verdict. No one was giving anything away, faces totally blank. And where was Boyle. What the hell?

Gina stopped in from of them. “I have good news!” she announced loudly, slowly spreading her arms like she was addressing a room full of people. “Captain Holt will be here tonight! With his true love Kevin! Neither one of them is particularly happy about the situation, but I have promised them a majestic dinner to which they seemed quite grateful!”

She stopped. Jake frowned. “How is that good news?” he asked.

“Oh,” Gina said. “It’s good news for me. Not for you.”

“Great,” he groaned. “Thanks for sharing.”

“Guys!” Boyle’s voice sounded from somewhere off to the right. “I have better news!”

He came running into view. They all gaped at him. Suddenly, Jake and Rosa’s handcuff situation didn’t seem quite so weird.

“Look,” Boyle said happily, grinning at them, holding up the animal in his arms. “I found a baby tiger! Now who’s going to help me raise it?”


End file.
